I guess I can’t think hard enough for your questions. The identity question is really a tough one. I had struggled through the identity crisis many years ago. I finally come to term with who I am.

When I just came to U.S., there weren’t many VietNamese refugees in San Francisco in 1975. I couldn’t speak a word of English. So many of my classmates were from Hong Kong. At that time, I wished I were from Hong Kong because I experienced cultural differences and even different in speaking Cantonese. I couldn’t understand what their slang was. Over the years, I finally realized that I am different from people from China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, or other places. I’m a Chinese Vietnamese American. In short, I’m a Vietnamese American with Chinese as an ethnic background. Yes, my root is in Vietnam.

There is no need to look further. The root in China is dead after my grandparents died. I couldn’t even get the correct name of the village or town where my grandparents came from since they couldn’t remember much. I don’t want to trace that root any more. It is sad but true. I wished my parents or even my grandparents would like us today, telling our kids that our home is in U.S. We are U.S. citizen. My kid was confused about whether she was Chinese or Vietnamese few years ago. We couldn’t sort it out to our satisfaction. We told her that she was an American. Her parents were from Vietnam Her ethnic group was Asian or Vietnamese and Chinese. We want her to plant her root here in U.S. without any doubt. Her home is in U.S. and we want her to feel that she is not a second-class citizen. She is a proud American. However, I worry what we told our kid is corrected or not. Should we insist that she should know and keep our cultures and our customs? I don’t know. I can’t even get her to speak Chinese or Vietnamese much. So, we may not always right in making the decision for our kid but we give our best under the circumstances.

Thank you again for your well advises on the group webpage and group responses. I will always keep in mind with what you said when we have lots of responses or lack of response. I’m glad to be involved in this group activity. I get to know more about my classmates and get to know them better. We are giving this chance to be friends and to make friends again. I don’t know how long we can keep up with all these activities but I know now that the bonds we have now are stronger than 30 years ago. In my heart, I know for sure that I have few friends out there. Marianne reached out to us and brought us together. I can’t thank her enough for what she and Sheena did for our group. So, the least I can do is give them my full supports and full attentions. In the mean time, I have all the fun and memories in creating the website and in writing and receiving all emails.

Thank you for opening the door of Aibanese to me. I’m not a writer nor a poet nor a painter. I’m not very good in creative department. So, there is not much I can offer to your Aibanese website. I love to write emails and receive emails. So, you may see me reply here and there or emails from me. :-) You are the one with all these writings, creativities, and design. I love to steal you away from Aibanese. ;-) Well, at least steal you some times for our phuoc duc group. Yes, we are open doors (front door, back door, side doors) to welcome you to join us, visit us, or become one of our major writers. We need help in many ways and would love to have your help. Are you ready to write some articles or poems for us? Topics are open.

This email is getting too long. I’ll stop now.

Have fun,

Bonnie